INFORMATIVE SITE.

A female teacher was having a problem with a boy called Dennis in her class of 3rd grade. Dennis said 'Madam, I should b in 4th grade, I'm smarter than my sister & she's in the 4th grade'. The Teacher had heard enough of his complaining & took Dennis 2 the Principal' s office. She explained everything 2 the Principal who decided to test Dennis with some questions that a 4th grade should know. Principal: What's 3+3? Dennis: 6 Principal: 6+6? Dennis: 12 & so on..!! The Principal asked Dennis many questions and  Dennis got them right. The Principal then asked Madam to send Dennis 2 4th grade. Madam decided 2 ask some more questions & the Principal agreed. Madam: What does a cow have 4 of, that I've only 2 of? Dennis: Legs. Madam: What's in ur pants that u have but I don't have? Dennis: Pockets Madam: What starts with a C & ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious & contains thin whitish liquid? Dennis: Coconut.

JOKE OF THE DAY! An old farmer wrote a letter to his son in prison." Son this year I will not plant cassava and yam because I can't dig the field, I know if you were here you would have helped me".  The son replied  his father "Dad don't even think of digging the field because that's where I burried  the money I stole". "THE KENYA POLICE" on reading this letter went early in the morning to the house, dug the whole field in search of the money but nothing was found. The next day the son wrote his father again. "Dad you can now plant your cassava and yam this is the best I can do from here. Dad replied " haaa my son. you are too powerful indeed, even in prison you still command police men to work for me. I was so suprised to see the IG and team holding hoes  and shovels, digging my farm. I will write to you   when I want to harvest. Work smart, not hard.

valuable words of wisdom

meanwhile...... EARLIER TODAY IN NOMIYA CHURCH AT ALEGO USONGA, SIAYA COUNTY: g PASTOR: I have come all the way from England to tell u Jesus loves u TRANSLATOR: Mchungaji anasema amesafiri kwote kutoka Ulaya kuja kuwaarifu kuwa yesu anawapenda PASTOR: Today I want to teach you about the life of Jesus. Jesus was born of the Virgin Mary TRANSLATOR: Leo angependa kufundisha kuhusu maisha ya yesu. Yesu alizaliwa na mary……. CONGREGATION: Omera wuod London, hakuna kitu sisi anaskia hapo kwa translator. Afadhali ata uchukue omondi wetu asaidie huyo mtu ku-translate angalao tupate kitu.alafu uanzie mwanzo sababu Hiyo Kiswahili amepita na upepo!! PASTOR: I was saying I have come all the way from England to tell u Jesus loves u OMONDI: He has swapped coordinates within this planet, achieved locomotion all the way from the diaspora to come and emit evidence that Jesus oozes affection towards you PASTOR: Today I want to teach you about the life of Jesus. Jesus was born of Mary who was a

A man is dating three women and wants to decide who to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gave each woman $10,000 and observed what each did with the money. The first one does a total make-over. She goes into a fancy beauty salon, does her hair, new make up and buys several new outfits. She then dresses up very nicely for the man. She says to him she has done this to make herself even more attractive to the man because she loves him so much.The man is impressed. The second woman goes gift shopping for the man. She buys him a new smartphone, an expensive watch and very flashy clothes and shoes. As she presents these gifts to him, she tells him she spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. the man is again impressed. The third one invests the money in the stock market. She earns $40,000 and gives him back his 10k. She then deposited the remainder in a joint account.She says she wants to secure their future because she loves him so much. Obvio

Here is why no LUO has ever won Shangwe Mtaani promo: SAFARICOM: Hello, am I speaking to Otiende Openda? OTIENDE: In the event that u want to secure my audience, Please predecease the names Otiende Openda with the prefix Engineer… SAFARICOM: We received your SMS at Shangwe Mtaani Promo. OTIENDE: Yes, I radiate an apologetic tone for bombarding your systems with an avalanche of messages yester night. You see I left the custody of my Samsung galaxy S3 phone to my 9 year old son so that he could play with as he had developed monotony to his toys. He must have contacted you by error. SAFARICOM: Bye rror? OTIENDE: Yes. u see, he wanted to re-unite Zack with his home country (bring Zack home) but didn’t know the exact pay bill number so I told him for the sake of probability, to send SMSes to all pay bill numbers he has ever seen being displayed on my 64 inch Samsung flat screen that also relays 3d images. You must have been a beneficiary of his gesture. SAFARICOM: W

Welcome to our Generation, where typing amen to pastors' prayers on Facebook will save you from your village witches and make you a billionaire Welcome to our Generation, where Jesus Christ sends you a WhatsApp message and threatens to kill you if you do not send it to 20 people. The most annoying thing in all is that graduates and supposed learned people send ''miracle message'' to their friends every day. These messages carry lots of threat; Some messages will say you will suffer or go broke for a week if you don't send them... As Christians, we need to keep an open mind and be discerning and also open our hearts and minds to healthy discussions. We need to think...Do you believe God will punish you if you refuse to send those messages? Do you think your destiny is tied to a message on social media? Do you genuinely believe you will receive instant miracles after you type ''Amen'' on that post?... We claim to be children of God but we

Hawker Shouting.... "Wataita ni wafiti!!!!" "Wataita ni wafiti!!!!" "Wataita ni wafiti!!!!" Kugeuka na Kumcheki kumbe anauza Water Heaters and this is what he was trying to say; "Water Heater ni One Fifty!!!!" "Water Heater ni One Fifty!!!!" "Water Heater ni One Fifty!!!!"

1. Do not wear a vest or sleeveless top without shaving your armpits or without a bra underneath. . 2. Do not leave chipped nail polish to wear off on its own, there's a reason why they sell nail polish remover. . 3. If you can’t afford good quality weaves, don’t bother. . 4. Do not do artificial nails that makes you look like a drag queen, simple is always sexy. . 5. See-through leggings or a top used as a dress when you are out in public is a hell-to- the-no! . 6. Never do things for a man with a hope of getting something in return, expectations are dangerous. Do it because you simply want to. . 7. Never contradict what your man says - in public. . 8. Never stalk the man that left you for the other woman. . 8. Do not share your best friend's personal life with every Tom, Dick and Harry. . 9. Never dish out your entire family drama on a first date. The guy just wants to know about you. . 10. Stop obsessing over your body. It’s good to eat heal

On phone ; GIRL: baby, where are you? BOY: am on my way to work, my dad is driving me with his Mercedes Benz X-class because his Infinity-45 is in garage for service while that brand new range rover was taken by mum to her niece' and you dear, where are you? GIRL: well, I'm in a ken silver bus sitting behind you. I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn't pay the conductor, I've already paid for you.

A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?" The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can't explain." "So what happened that's so horrible?" the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer. "Well," the farmer said, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket." "Okay," said the man, "but that's not so bad." "Some things you just can't explain," the farmer replied. "So what happened then?" the man asked. The farmer said, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left." "And then?" "Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.&

Peter : "I want my money now!" Tom : "I will kill myself so that I won't pay you" *he  pulled a gun n shot himself dead* Peter : "hahaha.....If u think u'll get away with my money u r wrong, i'l follow u until u pay me!" *he takes the gun n shot himself dead as well* James : was watching from a distance he laughed n said : "these guys are funny, I must watch this till the end".....*he also took the gun and killed himself! Who is the most stupid out of them?

A Pastor's wife keeps cats on the church premises… One evening a cat went missing. In church the next day, the Pastor wife asked: "Who HAS a pussy?" All the WOMEN got up… "No, I mean who has SEEN a PUSSY" All the MEN got up… "Eish...no, no, no…. I meant… who has seen a Pussy that isn't THEIRS?" More than half of the CHURCH MEN got up. "Ohhhh for goodness sake!! Who has seen MY pussy?!" All the CHOIR Boys got up…. The Pastor fainted. The Pastor"s wife shouted "It's a lost CAT you f☆☆king pieces of sticks 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question? TEACHER: Yes! STUDENT: How to put an elephant inside the fridge? TEACHER: I don't know. STUDENT: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. I have another. question! TEACHER: Ok, ask. STUDENT: How to put a donkey inside the fridge? TEACHER: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. STUDENT: No sir, you just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in. TEACHER: Ooh...ok!! STUDENT: If all the animals went to the lion's birthday party, with one animal missing which one would it be? TEACHER: The lion of course because it would eat all the animals. STUDENT: No sir, the donkey because it's still inside the fridge. TEACHER: Are you kidding me? STUDENT: No sir, one last question. TEACHER: Ok! STUDENT: If there's a river of crocodiles and you wanted to cross, how would you? TEACHER: There's no way, I would need a ladder to cross. STUDENT: No sir, you just swim and c