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This caught me laughing alone ..#luo_things

meanwhile......
EARLIER TODAY IN NOMIYA CHURCH AT ALEGO USONGA, SIAYA COUNTY:
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PASTOR: I have come all the way from England to tell u Jesus loves u

TRANSLATOR: Mchungaji anasema amesafiri kwote kutoka Ulaya kuja kuwaarifu kuwa yesu anawapenda

PASTOR: Today I want to teach you about the life of Jesus. Jesus was born of the Virgin Mary

TRANSLATOR: Leo angependa kufundisha kuhusu maisha ya yesu. Yesu alizaliwa na mary…….

CONGREGATION: Omera wuod London, hakuna kitu sisi anaskia hapo kwa translator. Afadhali ata uchukue omondi wetu asaidie huyo mtu ku-translate angalao tupate kitu.alafu uanzie mwanzo sababu Hiyo Kiswahili amepita na upepo!!

PASTOR: I was saying I have come all the way from England to tell u Jesus loves u

OMONDI: He has swapped coordinates within this planet, achieved locomotion all the way from the diaspora to come and emit evidence that Jesus oozes affection towards you

PASTOR: Today I want to teach you about the life of Jesus. Jesus was born of Mary who was a virgin

OMONDI: Jesus made his debut on this planet via Mary who had achieved pregnancy in absencia of copulation

PASTOR: On the 8th day after he was born, the boy Jesus was circumcised

OMONDI: Barely 192 Hours after being conceived, his penile tissues were partially peeled at its tip

PASTOR: When he became of age, Jesus was baptized in river Jordan

OMONDI: Upon attaining maturity, Jesus was temporarily submerged into H20

PASTOR: After baptism, he started performing miracles, He changed Water into wine at a wedding at cana in galilee..

OMONDI: After being submerged into H20, he commenced synthesizing miracles. He altered the chemical compounds of water from H20 to C2H60 (ethanol) without a pipette during a matrimonial Union at cana in galilee

PASTOR: He later walked on water…

OMONDI: He permitted the density of his mass to be inferior to the density of H20.

PASTOR: OHHH dear brethren’s and sisters can u feel the Holy spirit in this place?

OMONDI: Ohh Male and female Homosapiens, can u cite the holy spirit in this habitat??

PASTOR: I say if u can u feel the Holy Spirit in this place lift up both your hands together and shout Halleluyah!!

OMONDI: I utter that if u can locate the holy spirit within this coordinates, permit your upper limbs to ascend in unison and instruct your vocal chords to release the noun “halleluyah” in high decibels

CONGREGATION: OHH halleluyah, the Holy Spirit is adjacent to us, HalleluyaH!! We ooze glory, we emit Honour..halleluyah!!!

#luo_things.

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