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A man got this message from his neighbour; "Sir, I am so sorry but I have this confession to make. I have been sharing your wife with you behind your back day and night and mostly when you are not in town. I have used your wife in my kitchen, bedroom, parlour and also in your own apartment and at times right under your nose. I have to also admit that I have used your wife more than you do. I feel I should let you know cause I feel so guilty. I promise never to do it again". The man was so mad that he shot his wife dead! Few minutes later he received another message from the same neighbour stating; "So sorry for the spelling mistake. I meant to write WIFI and not WIFE!" If you were the husband, what would you do? ...

A female teacher was having a problem with a boy called Dennis in her class of 3rd grade. Dennis said 'Madam, I should b in 4th grade, I'm smarter than my sister & she's in the 4th grade'. The Teacher had heard enough of his complaining & took Dennis 2 the Principal' s office. She explained everything 2 the Principal who decided to test Dennis with some questions that a 4th grade should know. Principal: What's 3+3? Dennis: 6 Principal: 6+6? Dennis: 12 & so on..!! The Principal asked Dennis many questions and  Dennis got them right. The Principal then asked Madam to send Dennis 2 4th grade. Madam decided 2 ask some more questions & the Principal agreed. Madam: What does a cow have 4 of, that I've only 2 of? Dennis: Legs. Madam: What's in ur pants that u have but I don't have? Dennis: Pockets Madam: What starts with a C & ends with T, is hairy, oval, delicious & contains thin whitish liquid? Dennis: Coconut. ...

Hawker Shouting.... "Wataita ni wafiti!!!!" "Wataita ni wafiti!!!!" "Wataita ni wafiti!!!!" Kugeuka na Kumcheki kumbe anauza Water Heaters and this is what he was trying to say; "Water Heater ni One Fifty!!!!" "Water Heater ni One Fifty!!!!" "Water Heater ni One Fifty!!!!"

On phone ; GIRL: baby, where are you? BOY: am on my way to work, my dad is driving me with his Mercedes Benz X-class because his Infinity-45 is in garage for service while that brand new range rover was taken by mum to her niece' and you dear, where are you? GIRL: well, I'm in a ken silver bus sitting behind you. I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn't pay the conductor, I've already paid for you.

STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question? TEACHER: Yes! STUDENT: How to put an elephant inside the fridge? TEACHER: I don't know. STUDENT: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. I have another. question! TEACHER: Ok, ask. STUDENT: How to put a donkey inside the fridge? TEACHER: It's easy, you just open the fridge and put it in. STUDENT: No sir, you just open the fridge take out the elephant and put it in. TEACHER: Ooh...ok!! STUDENT: If all the animals went to the lion's birthday party, with one animal missing which one would it be? TEACHER: The lion of course because it would eat all the animals. STUDENT: No sir, the donkey because it's still inside the fridge. TEACHER: Are you kidding me? STUDENT: No sir, one last question. TEACHER: Ok! STUDENT: If there's a river of crocodiles and you wanted to cross, how would you? TEACHER: There's no way, I would need a ladder to cross. STUDENT: No sir, you just swim and c...